Monday, August 18, 2008

My Children Will Never Be Competetitive Gymnasts

I've been super busy with Cougar Crazies lately, but watching the Olympics motivated me to do a blog post over here. I have enjoyed watching the competitions this past week, but I want to make it known that my children will never be competitive gymnasts.

Here's why:

1. The crying - In watching the Olympics I've seen several girls, and a few men, break down in tears over poor performance. I understand the agony of defeat, but there's so much pressure put on these little girls to win that it's often just too much too handle. Crying in sports should be a rarity, not a regular occasion. If my kid is going to cry in sports, it'll be due to the pressure from a father forcing his child to shoot 500 jump shots a day, nothing else.

2. China - China has been up to something these Olympics. I just know it. And the gymnastics competitions have only confirmed my suspicion. There was definitely some home cookin' goin' on if you ask me, and that makes me mad. And therefore, gymnastics are banned in our household.

3. The coach/athlete relationship - For some reason I get weirded out by these middle-aged grown men that coach these young girls (or worse, boys). I don't get it. I probably never will. But seeing a 16 year old girl and a 50 year old man hugging all the time and calling each other "best friends" just doesn't sit well with me. Don't either one have friends their own age? I understand they should be close....but c'mon.......kissing? Weird. And father daughter kissing? Even weirder.

4. Size - This one's a little more practical. The size of your average gymnast is about 5'2" and 105 pounds. The size of your average Winn is about 6'4" and 280 pounds. Nuff said.

Note 1: This post was not cleared with Lesley. Therefore, this could all be taken back if she wants our kids to be gymnasts. Except for the size part.

Note 2: This post is not intended as an announcement regarding children. Sorry Evan & Brad.


Derrik & Bridget said...

If you are going to write something like that atleast know the picture is dad and daughter kissing!!!! Your ignorance is almost as upsetting as the chinese cheating which I definately agree on something seriously wrong there.

lesley said...

You're lucky I've already faced reality and understand that gymnastics will not even be a sport of choice for any of our future children because of the physical restrictions we are genetically passing onto them (your size, my inability to touch my toes).

Because if that weren't the case, you know I'd be all about having a Shawn Johnson. I giggle every time she smiles because she's so darn cute and looks like a little chipmunk.

Evan said...

haha. Great post Trev, you had me captivated from start to finish. I actually READ the entire post, not a quick glance over like I do with most posts. I think you have really nailed it. I just hope you have lots of boys, with that average height and weight projection. I think Whit's jeans will bring us a few female gymnasts, but I will have to do something about those interesting coach relationships.

The Winns said...

Nice Post! I was not sold until you stated point #4. #4 is by far your strongest point, however I think I might be pushing the "Winn average" up a little. You'd be safer to say 6'4, 295 lbs, don't worry I will work to keep the average below 3 bills. Good thing Riley is little. Anyway, enjoyed the post enogh to make me actually want to comment, which as you know is quite rare.

The Winns said...

Whatever Danae IS the next Shawn Johnson, but she will come home with the gold. She already cries on a daily basis, so at least it will be more bearable. This comment has not been cleared by Brad, but I'm sure he agrees.

Jason Donaldson said...

I must contest a small portion of your analysis. If you watched the women's team competition it must be stated that Alicia Sacramone completely screwed up in back-to-back events (completely removing any chance at a gold) and managed to fight back the tears, unlike many a men's weighlifter. Plus, there's a pretty sweet youtube video of her punching a guy in the face and knocking him out.

Ashley and Mikkel said...

Trevor... my thoughts exactly! I just started a gymnastics post that I will add to later tonight if any of the chinese get gold over us!! I expressed some deep anger issues over the chinese.

The kissing is creepy! But I guess her talent makes up for that!

Mikkel thinks Shawn Johnson looks like Sadie! but a chipmunk is close too!

As far as your future kids go...You guys are not ruling out dance as a potential athletic pursue are you?

Natalie said...

I love your post. I don't have anything else to say except that I think I'm on your side on this one. I liked watching the olympic gymnasts but it's not something I want my kids into either. Plus, we have the size thing holding us back too - I don't think any child of Josh Beutler's will be under five feet.